Help, I'm Alive

Seems I have a bit of good news. I got a call back and went for an interview at that job I was telling you about and I'm hired pending the background check, which I know will turn out fine. I should hear back in the middle of next week and start the Tuesday following that. I'm excited to start. 
On the other hand, I feel like absolute shit today. My head hurts and my stomach is killing me. I get my Lupron shot on May 1st so I should start feeling better in about six weeks. I'm tired of always waiting to feel better. Doctors are a pain in the ass. My insurance is changing in June so hopefully I can find a better one. One that actually gives a damn about the fact that it's awful trying to function on a day-to-day basis. I can't have sex, I can't eat, and if I drink I have to go to sleep immediately afterword or I become ill. I have continual cramps that feel like I'm being stabbed ALL THE TIME. Surgery is not an option in my case, so all I have left is the Lupron shot. The Lupron shot made me absolutely insane the first time around. It did help with the endometriosis but putting me through menopause boot camp via the shot was hideous. I was mean, I snapped at everyone, and I took Adam's head off every chance I got (which was undeserved and often, poor guy). Let me tell you, that man is a goddamned trooper. I'm so lucky to have him here by my side to support me. Anyone else would have taken off running but not him. He's my rock. But as the doctors always say.. "We'll see." "It should get better soon." It feels like my life is made up of "we'll see"s some days. 
Alright. Enough of my bitching and moaning. Mostly everyone has heard me bitch about it anyway. I still feel very lucky that I got that job, just disappointed I have to wait so long to start. I hate sitting here twiddling my thumbs, which is what I've been doing for months in between the temp work that trickled it's way through. Luckily for me I have some shopping to do to have my uniforms ready. I'm provided with the shirt but nothing else. I did decide to wait until they give me a call about the background check before I go running off to Target. They can change their minds at any time and I don't want to spend a bunch of money just to get turned down. Then again, if they turn me down at this point I'll probably have some sort of nervous breakdown (which is absolutely ridiculous). I have so much hope riding on this stupid job that I'll lose my shit if I lose this job. I seem to be in an incredibly negative mood today so I suppose I should stop while I'm ahead and not spread that negativity around. It's contagious. I'll write again soon, hopefully something happier. 


xo